My day off

Days off are few and far between for me. This Veteran's day I had the day off and decided I wasn't doing anything that had to do with school. Here's the sum of my bliss.

Save Blue Like Jazz

So here's the deal. I am a huge fan of Donald Miller's books. He writes so real, not romanticizing the Christian experience, just being realistic. The last book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years talks about trying to get his other book Blue Like Jazz into a movie and basically inspires people to live better stories. I was really excited, as a friend said, "If you recommend a book as a Christian book most people won't pick it up, but if you drag them to a movie they'll sit through it." Well- due to funding, the movie got canned, yet 2 fans from Tennessee said NO and have started a campaign to raise the money. In only 4 days they've raised 49% of the $125,000. That's crazy!!! That's what happens when God's people move!!! Please support this project, its near to my heart. Even a $1 will help the cause!

www.savebluelikejazz.com

I love my Dad

My dad is awesome. I could have 100 blogs filled w/ stories of how blessed I am with a great earthly father. That is a big reason I understand God as my heavenly father.
I had a 2hr delay today and my phone rang during my planning...why is Dad calling? He knows I'm in school!!!
He wanted me to hear the radio, "Daddy let me drive" by Alan Jackson. Just called to say he loved me! :)
I am lucky to be his daughter!

Getting Control

I need to preface this post by saying I truly believe in God. Jesus is my Lord and has a good plan for me. However, am I just to sit and wait? There are some things I can control.
I need to keep the communication lines open between me and God, not just my prayer life, but in daily Bible reading- soaking up the word. I am now going to be better keeping up my end of my relationship with God. I'm dedicating myself to a reading plan and joining a lifegroup with women because I feel I really need strong women around me (I have plenty at home but that's 700+ miles away).
I need to get my weight under control.
I can control what food I have in my house.
I can control whether I exercise or not.
I am going to start taking control of what I can so I'm not spinning out of control.
And Lord- you can have all the rest!!!

So Goal for this week- not only will I dedicate to daily bible study (I'm starting w/ 30 days into Psalms & Proverbs) but I am going to get my eating habits under control.

"A healthy body is a guest-chamber for the soul; a sick body is a prison.- Francis Bacon"

New Perspective

To be completely honest, I'm wiped and it's not even 9:30am.
I work in lists so here's what's going on:
1. School
2. Church
3. Me

I could go on and on, but why complain, nobody wants to read that and I love it everything I've committed to. However, I started seeing myself waiting for the end. 1 month to competition, choreography will be done Friday, November I get to go home!!! Why am I living for the end? I mean, yes there should be an end in sight, but isn't the journey the exciting part?

I had coffee w/ my wonderful friend Jen who is so inspirational and creative. She rocks. Anywho, we decided after coffee I'd help her look for old wood & metal for a set she's building at church. We got in the truck & I asked where to go. I was just driving to get there. She kept looking out the window, finding all this random stuff that would work and I would U-turn to load it in. I found myself slowing down, not driving to get the the 1st destination and just enjoying the ride. By the time we got to the original destination the truck bed was completely full. We had so much fun!!!! As I left Jen, I started thinking what else am I missing out on because I'm too concerned w/ getting all my checks on my check list finished? So, what do I enjoy? It really is the little things in life. I now am going to sip & enjoy my coffee, enjoy teaching my students instead of just worrying if they're obtaining it all, & I'm going to write more. So hopefully I'll be better about updating this! Here's to the journey!!! I love a good road trip :)

Aunt Arvada

I love my Aunt Arvada. She passed away almost 3yrs ago. I miss her like crazy, she was very much a Grandma to me and even better a great friend. This is a picture of the 2 of us when I was probably around 5. I am dressed up in the boa, and she is dressed up in my rockstar get up. She was amazing and accepted me just like I was and whenever we were together we just had fun and laughed.
Here are some of my favorite Arvada stories:
I used to spend a day with her before every year at school. We would get all dressed up & do each others makeup. Even though I put her lipstick on crooked she'd walk me to the Dairy Queen across the street with crooked clown makeup & me clomping across the highways in her heels. When we'd get there she would look at the cashier (who was giving us looks like we're crazy) & say, "Hello, aren't we just the most fabulous, beautiful girls you've ever seen? We got all dressed up to have a girls lunch." We'd have lunch & before we left she would say to the people working, "Now we'll be back for ice cream, but 1st we must get into play clothes, I do hope you still recognize our beautiful faces, we can't get chocolate on our boas."

Later in life I was visiting Arvada having lunch w/ her in Jasper with Mamaw, Ann, & Myrna (my cousins). She leans over and whispers (so Mamaw couldn't hear)
"Brianne...do you drink beer?" "Umm...yes Arvada, sometimes"
" I woke up the other day & realized I'm 12 years from being 100 and I can barely finish 1/2 a beer anymore. So if you want a beer, have one, because one day you'll only remember what its like to have one."

"Brianne...you're boyfriend is very cute...do you kiss?"
"Umm...yeah... we kiss"
"Good. I woke up & realized I 'm 12 years from being 100 and I don't want to touch myself to shower, let alone would a man want to get near me. I think if a cute boy wants to kiss you- let him, because one day you'll be too wrinkly & old for men to want to even be near you."
She was a gem! :)

I was listening to Derek Webb's song Dance he wrote about his Grandma that is basically biographical. My favorite line is, "I'd marry you, if you could dance....that what I said. Cause where I'm going there will be dancing everyday" It sounded just like an Arvada answer. Sure I'd marry you, but you can't dance...Sorry; NEXT!!!!
Good advice!

All That I Need

So Monday was a crazy long tech day. 5 1/2hours!!! I rolled out of bed late, pulled my hair up w/o even brushing it (wouldn't Mom be so proud) and headed in for another day of school.
I get to 1st period & one of my dancers asked if she could straighten my hair to see how it looked. I got laughing that it needed brushed not straightened & there she goes, getting a brush, brushing and straightening my hair. Now, Sunday I saw a movie & saw a mom brushing a daughters hair and was like I want my hair brushed, but that's an odd request! Yet w/o asking here my student is letting me clean my desk while getting pampered. My hair looked awesome and good looking hair just helps an exhausted girl feel good about herself. As the class ended the same student tossed a new teal shirt towards me and said "this shirt was brand new and its way too big for me, want it? it's a good color for you!" So I tried it on and the SMALL fit! Another little victory to help my self esteem and exhaustion level. I received so many compliments that day in my new outfit and hairdo. My students are way too good to me.
Then we hit tech, I know it will not be 5 1/2 hours, but still more than 1. To get the musical ready I skipped lunch, then @ 3 tried to eat the salad that was pre-dressed. It was warm and soggy, no dinner til home either. I told no one, just grabbed some water and started taking notes. Around 5ish the student that performed the make-over's mother texted me. They live across from the school and she just made chicken salad, would I like a sandwich for dinner? Would I? :)
I drove home on such a joyful day! I am truly blessed, I have amazing supportive students and parents. I am part of a community here and it just reaffirmed how much God loves me and that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be doing what I'm doing. After talking to Mom about my awesome day I remembered my day reiterated a scripture I taught in Kidzone a couple months ago:
Matthew 6:25-28; 31 "For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat or drink; nor for your body as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span? And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin. 31Do not be anxious then, saying, "What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or "With what shall we clothe ourselves?"
God is just wrapping me up in his peace and showering me w/ his blessings. I love him so much! I also love how I end up getting just as much if not more from Kids church as the kids :) And I know with all the things going on in life as long as I keep my eyes on God I'm gonna be alright!!!! AMEN!

Great Music/Great Message

So I heard this song driving early one morning between Wilmington and school and it just clicked. Yes, this is how my relationship w/ Jesus should be. I get all head over feet over crushes why am I not like that w/ my Savior? Why do I get wrapped up in the rules? As Pastor Jeff @ Liefpoint said today: God's laws & rules are not the condition of His love for us, but rather a confirmation of His love". It's an honor thing. Anywhoo...great sermon today check it out @ lifepointnow.com but here is the awesome song, check it out too!

Jason Gray - More Like Falling in Love From the album Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue
Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet It ought to be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love
Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them 'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love
It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love
It's gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love
It's like I'm falling, oh
I'm falling in falling
It's like I'm falling

GOD IS BIG 2: PRAYERS ARE BEING ANSWERED!

"GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT"
My last post was my "I'm Done!!!!" rant. Well the beginning of this week did not get better and it's funny many times I say I'm done, yet still try to take on my burdens and stress. Like I leave it to God, but am worried to truly feel free so I pick it all up again at the end of my prayer time. A conference I went to explained like extra weight in a backpack while trying to run a marathon. I still have the stone the speaker used as example to help me remember this lesson, its on my bookshelf and I saw it but didn't stop to go UNLOAD YOU'RE PACK.

Anyways, I digress. So I've been praying for this musical. I was at the BREAKING POINT where my body was to the point of exhaustion on Wed. My friends have been praying too (THANKS I LOVE YOU ALL!!)
Guess what? God is ROCKING MY WORLD and MUSICAL and ANSWERING PRAYERS!!!!
(I know I shouldn't be surprised, I guess in a world of famine and war and sadness I think my lil' high school musical isn't high on the list, but I forget God cares about what we care about!)

So here are my list of so far answered prayers:
*Alternate payment for t-shirts was achieved!
*We are having $$$ issues, the musician we were hiring took what we offered instead of what he should be worth :)
*To keep w/ the $$ issues, we need wood. We asked the Ag teachers to borrow some (they build a house every year) to pay them back, just to get us through the week. They gave us 2 TRUCKLOADS of GREAT WOOD and PLYWOOD (full sheets)!!! I ask what we owe them, better yet: IT WAS THEIR SCRAP WOOD!!!! God is so good :) As a student explained my shock, "Ms. Lindsey looked like a poor orphan someone just took and spent $400 dollars on"
*I have lots of choreography jobs hitting now and my brain has been fried- an old student of mine called at lunch and came to show me some choreography she thought would fit one of the songs. AMEN!
*My boys in the cast ALL have rhythm and picked up the choreography w/ no complaints and I had fun w/ them dancing on Friday.
*I had to choreograph for a college show choir, 1st time, and I was doubting my abilities after dealing w/ some not so positive attitudes in my high school class. These girls loved my dance moves! It just reaffirmed that I'm not crazy thinking I'm a dancer, this is a gift God gave me!!!

I'm so YAY and I'm telling everyone, GOD IS ROCKING OUR MUSICAL, it's definitely not me. Keep praying, 3 weeks til show time and though we still have a lot to do, God's got it so I can enjoy the life he gave me, not freak out!! :)

MY GOD IS BIG!!!

So I've been stressed lately. The musical, students, work, plans, blah, blah blah. (I'll save you from the whiny crap) So I woke up today thinking "WAIT A MINUTE!!! I know my God was big enough to handle the high school musical last year! I also know the bible says God is and always will be and has never changed! Why am I acting like He's not big enough this year?"
So I decided because I think I can do it myself and I know I can't!
So here it is, keep my accountable. MY GOD IS BIG AND HE'S BIG ENOUGH TO HANDLE MY MUSICAL AND LIFE AND STUDENTS AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT COMES IN MY WAY. MY GOD IS GINORMOUS!!!! And I am so thankful for that.
To take from a mass txt I was sent the other day "I'm too blessed to be stressed and too annointed to be disapointed"

2:37:37

Ran my 1st 1/2 marathon Sunday morning...well ran/walked, but still 13.1 miles in 2hours, 37 minutes, and 37 seconds! I was #576 out of 742.

My friend Dove and I decided 2 months ago, "if the biggest losers can run a marathon, why can't we?" So we started training.

Here are my race recaps:
5:30am My running buddy Dove picks me up and we head to Mayfaire to catch the trolley.
6:20am We get on Wrightsville Beach and stand in line to pee. They are out of toilet paper, but some girls behind us went to the boys and passed it up, what nice people. At this point my running buddy and I are starting to doubt ourselves....we don't look like these runners, I've lost 6lbs during training, but they look serious, do they know we're phonies?
We also realize the starting line is a 10min. walk....why couldn't they drop us off sooner?
6:43 I see my pastor's wife, she's running too!
6:45 The guns goes off and I start running!
Mile 1 1/2 I see two boys wanting high fives from the runners, it's my pastor's boys! I give them fives as I keep jogging!
Mile 3-31/2 ish....TIRED decide to walk a bit. Michelle (pastor's wife) passes me. A little jealous that she had breath to cheer me on as she passed me, but at the same time how encouraging!!! That's why I love her!!!!!
Get into Landfall gated community. Run/Walk my way through it. Some of my favorite signs I saw along the path:
"Running is HORSE $#@&" "Congrats Nikki on your first/last marathon" "$5 cab rides to mayfaire" and "3.7 miles = beer" Definitely helped me keep my mind off things.
There was also a lady opening her house up for bathrooms. Now Landfall is a gated community and unless I run the marathon next year I will probably never get a pass in. Part of me wanted to stop and pee in her house...the other part of me knew if I stopped I'd be her permanent house guest asleep on the couch or in a guest room until she had security remove me, so I kept running.
Mile 6-7 Just walked, but 1/2 way done!!!
Mile 8-10 ran with a joyful guy! He had enough breath to thank EVERYONE that was cheering for us. He was a marathoner pacing himself. I told him I'd pray for him and his breath support when I finished! (And I did)
Mile 11.5ish I had some apple cinnamon gel, not too bad, not too amazing either.
Miles 12-13.1 Keep running, walking, running, walking, and hearing "you're almost done!" Really? That last 1.1 miles felt longer than the rest.
But I finished!!!!! And that was my goal :) EXTREMELY SORE (still sore in fact- I have a purple toe AND a bruised left foot, FUN!)
Dove now has no desire to ever run one again. She ran it all and had a time of 2:28, she rocks!

I am now slightly wanting to turn it into a lifestyle. I have no desire to run a full marathon, but I'd like to finish one w/o walking. So now I'm looking for the next one.

PS: since I already talked about peeing and the toilet, lets just say I realize now why "real runners" run in tights and not underwear...I'm in pain!

Letting Go

Just bought 500 days of Summer. I love it, but at the same time its beautifully depressing, like Zach Braff movies. It looks at a "1st love" or a 1-sided "1st love" relationship and the eventual destruction w/ a girl name Summer.
I laughed, I cried, (and I write cliches). I was walking up stairs to bed that night and thought man (SPOILER ALERT) if the days don't stop counting til your focus starts on another relatinship and I haven't been in a relationship in I don't know how long...does that mean my days are still counting w/ the ex? A voice inside my head said, "No, you have your relationship with Jesus!" I laughed outloud at my self. What a sunday school answer!!! But then I realized, no I really do have him and don't have to count 1bijillion days of ______ or however it was. (Thank you Lord once again I have no idea...it's such a ahh sense of calm knowing that I don't know!)
I put the relationship on the cross about 3 times after it was over. Doesn't work the 1st time? Yeah, but I kept dragging the memories back, or as one friend pointed out "You use the memories as your relationship" but finally I was like JESUS PLEASE TAKE THIS AND DON'T LET ME HAVE IT BACK IT'S EXHAUSTING HOLDING ON TO!!!! And he did. I laugh, it's almost like the song "you're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you" And I'm saying "i'm so over it, but I need to blog to let you know I'm over it" But I can honestly say no...I am over it cause my friend Jesus took it from me, carried the load, and now "my chains are gone, I've been set free". Thank you Lord, You rock!!!

Comfy

I was trying to descibe how I've been feeling lately. The best word is "comfy". I am so at ease moving into 2010. I love this feeling of peace and joy I've had recently. Spent 10days @ home around the holidays. Didn't get to see everyone, yet saw some people by suprise. The most important thing I got was rest and reflection. And just some good times...every morning I woke up to have coffee w/ Papaw. He had to have surgery while I was home and he made it through. All my mom's siblings were rushing to the hospital to sit in the waiting room and wait while he was put under. The Thursday before the surgery my bro and I took my Papaw and our Uncle Larry to the tavern. Now this is not out of the ordinary for my Papaw. My Papaw loves to shoot pool and drink a beer, and my Uncle Larry (who has downs) loves tavern food. But Thursdays is special because Papaw's living brothers meet him to shoot pool @ a local VFW. Whenever I'm home I drive them and have chickenstrips and "a beer w/ my uncles" as my Great-Uncle Jack insists. They reminice and sometimes I get a few shots of pool in myself. They lost Billy, my Papaw's oldest living brother in August, but they still meet. Well this Thursday Lee came, but the brothers didn't make it. Lee, Papaw & I played some cut throat while Larry enjoyed his "2 fish." This is rambling, but I was having a good time. Lee looked @ me and said, "This sure beats sitting in a hospital waiting for him to wake up, this is what its about." Boy is he right.
I had some great times while I was home: time w/ Papaw & family, suprising a cousin I didn't think I'd get to see, seeing Travis play his awesome music, and catching up w/ old college friends.

I guess the other recent new years I walked into w/ what I was missing, whether it was a lost relationship, or a lost way, or just as exhausted as I was ending it.

I'm truly thankful for my low key visit and being able to not walk into 2010 w/ emotional baggage. To be comfy where God has saved me from, where he's put me now and excited for the adventures I feel in my soul are coming.